Wanted: A Fire to Inspire.

It's been a long day so far... I feel so alone. I'm here at the library, wondering what to do for the next couple of hours or so until my Psych class. Priscilla's not here - she texted me this morning and told me. My other friends have classes, so meeting up is out of the question. And I have no idea how to approach other people, even if I try. Call me socially inept. I should have brought my journal with me. I should do that more often. Write, that is. I haven't been writing for a while. I'm always so tired. I need to get myself out of this fix. Maybe I'm just jaded.

I need some motivation. An inspiration.

Life at home keeps bothering me, too. My mother never stops criticizing me or my sisters or my dad. And at least twice a day my sisters would pick fights with each other. Sometimes when I just want to be alone, I can't. I haven't been really able to concentrate on the things that I want to do, on the goals that I set for myself.

I need to reorganize my life, it seems.

At least there are books to comfort me, as well as my favorite television shows. I could tune out of my reality for a while and tune in to something that would keep my mind occupied for the meantime. So far, they're the only things I have to look forward to, though a few of my shows are on hold because of the presidential debates.

Speaking of which, I just registered to vote this past Saturday, on the 11th. It was the last day to register, and I went to the local public school to fill up that little blue card. That was the third time I registered. I had mailed the first two registration cards earlier this year, but whenever I checked the website to see my voter status, I still was not registered. It was odd, considering the fact that I mailed the first one around March, right after I turned 18 in February. But my parents, who became U.S. citizens in June, got their voter identification cards in September. So I just tried it again. Hopefully third time's the charm. I'm leaning towards Barack Obama. McCain's not really reaching out to me, and God forbid something happens to him if he actually does become president - I really do not want Sarah Palin to fill in his shoes. I read an article in AMNY about how some feminists were wondering why they fought for feminism in the first place, only to have a VP candidate make a laughing stock out of herself. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, would have totally rocked as president. She was more serious about it and did not feed the public some kind of "folksy" image in order to get them to vote for her like Palin. McCain, I think, simply wanted to be in the history books as the president who chose a woman for his running mate. It's fine if he does that, but he really should have chosen someone else who was more experienced and actually answers the questions given to her, rather than just beating around the bush and dodging the questions altogether. And anyway, I truly think that Obama's going to bring change. Nevermind that he's young compared to the other presidents we've had so far. He knows what he's talking about. So yeah... there's my two cents on my civic duties come November 4th.

I'm going to read up on the progress of the election more often. And I'm going to try to finish that fantasy story I've been plotting for the longest time, since the spring. Maybe those will finally give me a sense of purpose.