Back to Work

Winter break is over. The Spring 2009 semester just started this Monday, on the 26th. I felt scared and nervous all over again, because this time there would be no such thing as a "block program." This time, there would be a whole new group of people who I've never met before. I guess that's just one of the things that I'll have to get used to from now on. You will never be with the same batch of people in each class, depressing and somewhat ominous as that sounds.

But on the bright side, I finally figured out how to use the library at Hunter. I think this semester I'll just throw myself into my studies. And hey, at least you can always borrow a laptop from the library for about 3 hours. So it can't be that bad, right?

And although I miss my high school friends and some of the new friends that I've made last semester, at least I still see some of them in between classes. Priscilla and I try to hang out when we can during our breaks. Though, sometimes we both feel like we don't want to make the effort to meet new people because it's hard and often awkward. But there's no harm in trying, right?

So anyway, here's the list of subjects that I'm currently taking this semester.

• English 300: Intro to Creative Writing
  - I think I'll enjoy this class. It has that warm, small classroom atmosphere, and many of my classmates are just as enthusiastic as I am about writing.
• History 151: Colonial Era to the Civil War
  - My teacher's funny, and he doesn't give out tests! All you have to do is read, write, and participate in class. The plus side is that I've taken enough American history classes (thanks to my high school, the Academy of American Studies) to know the basic material. Thank goodness I signed up for it.
• Anthropology (Physical) 101: Intro to Human Evolution
  - It has a sexy title - even my professor said so. It just drew me in. I've always wanted to find out about how humans came to exist, as well as what unites all of us and diversifies our species. And okay... the t.v. show "Bones" kind of had something to do with inspiring me to take this subject. The funny thing is that my professor was a little iffy when describing the forensic branch of anthropology because of television shows. She had a bone to pick with "Bones." She finds the main character, Dr. Temperance Brennan, annoying. I agree with her to some degree, but in other ways, I feel that Brennan just can't help being the somewhat socially awkward scientist that she is. Otherwise, the show wouldn't be the success that it is. But enough about that... Evolution in itself is fascinating. I might actually major or minor in anthropology along with psychology. I'm still thinking about it.
• Psychology 150: Human Development
  - I thought it would be interesting to see how we develop cognitively, emotionally, and physically due to changes throughout our lifespan. And it compliments what I'm learning in anthropology, to a certain extent. So far, we just reviewed the different theories that our out there on the human psyche - from Freud's psychoanalytic approach to the more recent and emerging Epigenetic Theory. If there's one thing I've noticed, it's that you can't learn anything about the human brain/psyche without applying a combination of all of these theories to your studies. This should be interesting.

I wish that winter would be over. I hate slushing my way to class in snow-covered, sub-zero feeling weather. I wish the warmth and comfort of spring would come sooner. In the meantime, here's to lookin' on the bright side.

Especially since I'm turning 2-decades-minus-1-year old on February 8th. I still don't know what I want for my birthday.

It's just a matter of time.

"Hey, hey, don’t pay no mind
We are the second, you’re minutes behind
So you say, 'Yeah I’m alright'
You are the fortunate all the time"

Time is a funny thing: it is infinite, yet we always seem to run out of it.

It would be more accurate to say that we are finite, that we are beings caged by our own mortality, not time. Time exists in and of itself. It knows no boundaries. Only the capacity to allow some distance for solace and healing. That is, if you allow yourself that after feeling weak and wounded from the traumas and dramas of life.

Is time really just one big NOW? We may never know. All we need to do is simply breathe.

Now, after another year gone by, feeling a bit older and wiser, I couldn't help but think, we're all wasted. I couldn't agree more with Cartel, a band that has written these three insightful songs: "Wasted," "The Fortunate," and "Matter of Time." You should give them a listen.

With each new year comes a new purpose. Or so we tell ourselves. Resolutions are meaningless without resolve. Yet, how often do we break those promises to ourselves? We get so disheartened and so disappointed when someone else breaks a promise to us. We get so caught up in feeling so self-righteous and self-pitying that we hesitate to forgive that person. We accuse them of lying. We accuse them of betrayal.

Well, would you feel the same way about yourself if you broke your own promise to yourself?

We are all hypocrites to some degree. And damn us all. We're all wasted if we don't start changing our ways. Don't make promises you can't even attempt to keep. Time and again, it's been said throughout the ages: be true to thyself. The world is what you make it to be. This is your life.

So who do you want to be?

"Cause all you can't deny is held inside
And when we go,
We say goodbye and then we run,
We run away.

From all we can't deny is just a lie.
And when we try to just get by
We just can't get past ourselves.

Cause where you are is where you'll be: always wanting everything.
It's all the same, that you can't ignore
Cause all you want is just to be more.

Cause who you are is who you'll be, and that is really everything.
It's all the same that you can relate.
Cause what you want's not what you're getting.
It's just a matter of time...
It's just a matter of time, 'til you know you'll be somebody tonight."

That's what I'm going to do. I resolve to be true to myself.


On a lighter note, I've been getting crazy random dreams about House and Bones. I guess that's what comes of watching too much television. There where all-day marathons of these shows recently, and that's all I've been doing. I think it's safe to say that I'm obsessed... to the point where I dream that the shows are fused together as one and I'm starring in it. For cryin' out loud, I dreamed that I was engaged to Chase/Jesse Spencer. Not that I'm complaining. It was a nice dream. But still, simply a dream thanks to my compulsive need to get my daily dose of tv.

Time, you really are a riot. Until I get back to work on the 26th, I don't know what to do with you.