A Picnic, Promenade, and Parade

Last Friday, after a week of running around doing errands, I was finally able to relax and have some fun. Some of my high school friends and I met up at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. They were a little late because for some odd reason, my friend's key got stuck in the door of her house and they couldn't leave until the locksmith came to fix it. As I was waiting for them, I just sat in the nearby park and tried to enjoy the nice weather. The birds there were kind of funny to watch. There were a few little sparrows and two robins looking for food. One robin was lucky enough to find a worm, and the others were chasing after it. The early bird gets the worm, after all.
Not long after, I saw Liliana walking through the park while I sat there on the bench waiting. It was great to finally see her again after what must have been a year. Together we went inside the Brooklyn Museum of Art while waiting for the others to arrive. There was a graduation ceremony going on on the third floor, so we didn't get to see the European paintings. On the other hand, we saw this really elaborate and fascinating installation artwork called "The Dinner Party" by Judith Chicago, an iconic piece in feminist art.

The banquet table and the heritage panels in the adjacent hall pay tribute to over 1,000 historical women figures, from the ancient goddesses of old religions and myths, right down to twentieth-century contemporary feminists and their works. Every aspect of "The Dinner Party," right down to the hand-painted decorative plates and the shape of the dinner hall, alludes to the power of the feminine mystique. It was amazing and awe-inspiring to be in such a place, and somehow I felt connected to all the women in the past who have paved the way for the rest of us to become empowered and active members of our society. It felt sacred. The conversation that Lily and I had regarding our plans for our futures while standing in that space made the experience that much more powerful to me.

Judy Chicago (American, b. 1939).  
The Dinner Party (Mary Wollstonecraft and Sojourner Truth place settings), 1974–79.

Our other friends finally came about an hour later, and so we made our way to the Botanic Garden. We had a blast that afternoon in the garden, just enjoying the beautiful scenery and the fresh summer air. One of the security guards tried flirting and hitting on one of my friends. He singled us out for having blanket out on the grass (even though there was a mother with her kids with a bigger blanket laid out) and then asked us if we'd like to take a tour of the rose garden ("That must be why you lovely ladies came to the Botanic Garden, right? To see the roses?" he asked). We exchanged amused smiles as Renee panicked and kept shaking her head, looking too freaked out to tell the guard that she wasn't interested. So Liliana took the lead and refused for her while the rest of us tried to hold back our laughter until the guard finally left us alone. The whole thing was pretty hilarious, since we weren't even interested in going to the rose garden, let alone on a tour of one. I mean, what's there to take a tour of? It's a garden, full of ROSES. Go figure. Though, I have to give the guy a little credit. As cheesy as his lines were, at least he tried.

Actually, the real reason we went to the Botanic Garden had absolutely nothing to do with seeing the pretty roses in full bloom. In fact, we went there just to sneak in contraband BBQ chicken drumsticks, rice rolls, and sandwiches, to play the word game Taboo, and to take random pictures of each other. The day grew more interesting as we all got into Pris's car and tried to decide where we would eat for dinner. Generally, we're a pretty indecisive, go-with-the-flow kind of bunch, so it took us about twenty minutes to finally make a decision.

We ended up going to an Indian restaurant in Brooklyn Heights called "Amin." The prices were affordable, the staff was welcoming, and the food was overall pretty good. Our waiter even offered us complementary chips, chutney, and a couple of other yummy sauces whose names escape me, ahaha. I just remember that one of the sauces tasted somewhat like sweet, fruity barbeque sauce and the other tasted like a cool and somewhat minty-sweet complement to the chutney's spiciness. I was so full from the banana fritters and samosas that I almost didn't have enough room for the mushroom shag I ordered as the entre. I would have ordered dessert, but we were all so full from the meal! If you're ever around Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights and are craving something different, definitely check out the affordable Indian cuisine at Amin restaurant. At least try their yummy, crispy samosas.

Later, we strolled down the Promenade and took pictures with the beautiful sunset-lit New York City skyline in the backdrop. We shared more inside jokes and talked about our views on relationships and life in general. As the day slowly wound down into night, I felt thankful. I got to spend a beautiful summer day with some of my closest friends and we all got to reconnect with each other again.

This is going to sound a little hokey, but I felt like I was at a crossroads in my life, what with that internship I have this summer, the prospect of becoming a college senior, and the somewhat-confusing-yet-exciting possibility of what could be either a good friendship or a blossoming romance with that certain someone (I hate thinking that maybe things will fizzle out over time).

Hanging out and laughing with my friends, though, helped me stop worrying so damn much about my own uncertainty about the future. In each of our own ways, we were all confused about life. Though we may have an idea of what we want to do in the future, we don't know if any of it will work out. The one faith that we all share is that things will work out eventually. No matter where we end up somewhere down this twisting and winding path that we call life -- even if we all end up cat ladies! -- at least we'll still have each other.

Sunday, June 5th was pretty interesting, to say the least. My mother, my sisters, and I marched in the Philippine Independence Day Parade, like we usually do every year, with Regal Court No.1 of the Order of the Amaranth (a masonic organization). I wasn't expecting the parade to be so crowded, since last year there didn't seem to be that many people, but man, was I wrong about that. I learned on that very same day that Jericho Rosales, a famous and talented (and incredibly good-looking!) actor from the Philippines was there at the parade and would be giving a live performance at the cultural festival. My sisters and I saw him in "Pangako Sa 'Yo" and the more recent drama "Green Rose" on TFC, so of course we had to try and see him. Together with our fellow Rainbow girl Camille, we linked arms and made our way through the super-congested crowds toward the stage and tried to get as close to the front as possible.

It was totally worth it, because we were less than twenty-five feet away from the stage and we got a close view of the performances and of Jericho's handsome, smiling face as he came on stage and sang. My sister and I kept screaming like a couple of excited fan-girls. I never I had it in me, but damn was I excited to see Echo perform! My sis and I even made jokes with each other, playfully arguing with each other that Jericho only had eyes for one of us, since he kept lingering in the corner of the stage which we were facing. Though it's foolish to even entertain the thought, I still maintain that Jericho was looking at me, ahaha.

Anyway, below is one of videos that I had my sister record on my iPod (she's an inch taller than me, haha) of one of the songs Jericho performed, "Change the World," originally by Eric Clapton. Jericho has pretty good vocals:




He even took a picture of the crowd on his phone and posted it on his Twitter. Try to spot my sister in there if you can -- she's the one wearing a pink long-sleeved sweater standing somewhere near his head on the far right of the picture, hehe.

I was standing right next to her, but you can't see me because the picture cuts off already. Oh well. It's enough that I got to see one of my favorite Filipino actors. I'm looking forward to next year's parade. I wish Jericho will be the special celebrity guest again, but that's probably unlikely, haha. We'll just have to see what happens.

As a Filipino and as an American, it's pretty confusing trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to be. Who am I? What is my identity? I'm actually of a mixed background -- my great grandfather on my mom's side (my Lola's father, to be exact) immigrated to the Philippines from China, and I have a great-grandmother on my dad's side who was half-Spanish and half-Filipino. So I look a little chinky-eyed and lighter-skinned for a Pinay. Yet I don't identify myself as being Chinese or Spanish. Ethnically, I'm a Filipina who happens to be mestiza. Culturally, I consider myself to be a New Yorker and then an American. I was born in Brooklyn, I live in Queens, and I go to school in Manhattan, so I identify most with being a New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker who happens to be of Filipino heritage.

It's only now that I'm trying to branch out and take a deeper look at my roots. I started out asking my parents what their lives were like growing up in Kalaoocan (my mom's hometown) and in Malabon (my dad's hometown), which are towns located near Manila. They'd tell me stories about their childhood -- my dad's would be more anecdotal, whereas my mom would use these stories as an opportunity to teach us something about Filipino values. Then I started watching Filipino soap operas, and it became easier to keep up with the shows once my mom finally decided to get the On-Demand package from TFC. I still find some of the shows a little too melodramatic for my own personal taste, but I guess the melodrama speaks volumes about the cultural mindset of Filipinos. Through the Asian literature classes I took at my college, especially the course "Philippine-American Literature," I learned how and why the Filipino culture and values are as complicated and as multi-layered as they are today. Then after watching a re-run episode of "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" on the Travel Channel, something inside me just kind of... sighed.

The Philippines somehow always gets passed over by Western writers and historians. I believe that I've already mentioned this in a previous post regarding how the Philippine-American War (or Philippine War of Independence, or the Philippine Insurrection, depending on who wrote the particular history book) is often skipped over in history classes. With such a deep, diverse mix of Chinese, Spanish, Malay, and American influences in the Philippines and in Philippine cuisine, you would think that the Philippines would surely be one of the countries featured in a food and travel show. The truth is that the Philippines is almost always skipped over, as some sort of anomalous funky mixture that few want to stick their hands into because it's so complicated and difficult to explain. With all the Southeast Asian countries that Anthony Bourdain has visited in previous episodes, it was about time that the multi-faceted, multi-cultural and dynamic flavors of the Philippines was represented in his food travels.

I felt some kind of connection toward the avid fan who persuaded Bourdain to finally continue his food travels in the Philippines. The fan was also a Filipino who was born and raised in New York (Long Island, actually), and he wanted to create a connection with his cultural roots. He's also had something of an identity crisis, just like me. It's not actually a crisis, really -- more like an intense longing, or a yearning than a crisis. We both yearned to learn more about our ethnic heritage and culture. We feel as though we're not fully Filipino and yet not fully American. Sure, we get the best of both worlds, but it's still weird to be standing in the middle. Filipinos, in my honest opinion, are like sponges -- super absorbent of other cultures and flavors, very malleable and adaptable, and above all, tough and resilient. It's a somewhat odd analogy, I know, but that's how I've come to think of my parents' homeland and its people. I like to think that it's a good thing; it means that we are able to adapt quickly to change as time moves its feet forward and the world shifts.

Anyway, whatever it is that you happen to be -- Asian, European, Native American, Hispanic, Black, Blue, Polka-dot or Zebra-striped -- I hope you also branch out and learn a thing or two. If you happen to be looking for your roots, I hope that you find rich, soulful soil somewhere.

Here's to happy summer adventures and personal discoveries, everyone! See you in the next post.

I'll leave you with a track from Anna Nalick's newly released "Broken Doll & Odds & Ends," a lovely song called "These Old Wings."

Oddities and Curiosity-filled 2011 Summer Plans

Ever since my last day of the Spring 2011 semester, I've had so many things running through my mind lately. The summer heat over Memorial Day weekend hasn't helped my brain functioning all that much, I'm afraid. Although I've been trying to catch up on sleep, I haven't had much luck. Not that anything's wrong. In fact, things seem to be going just fine...

I just hope I can keep up!

Anyway, I've been reading some of my older posts -- the ones from the past three years -- and I have to say that I sound a little different. Does this mean I'm growing as a writer, a blogger, and a critical thinker? Haha, I can't be sure.

Granted, I'm still that slightly awkward, glasses-and-braces-wearing girl with a twisted imagination and a weird sense of humor. I'll always be that nerdy bookworm who reads random titles on philosophy, history, science, sci-fi, fantasy, poetry, classic literature, and of course, the occasional YA novel. I cannot live without books -- this is one girl who says, "Give me a good book over diamonds any day!" Right now, for instance (though I haven't read any Nietzche beforehand and am only somewhat familiar with existentialism), I'm reading Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

What has changed over the years? For one thing, I find that I'm a lot more confident than I was when I started blogging.

When I started college, I had no idea what the hell I was doing majoring in psychology, a subject that I only decided to take up because my parents told me that I needed a practical, respectable, well-paying day job to support myself and build a career. I did it for selfish reasons; I majored in psychology to help give me some insight into the absurdities that take root in our private minds and manifest themselves in everyday human social interaction. Doing so made sense at the time. Now, though, I find that I really want to become a clinical psychologist. I want to provide counseling and services to those who really need it, to those who need a little help in the same everyday activities and routines that we so often take for granted.

So I decided to step up, be a woman, and go after that internship. I'm now in the process of finalizing everything. All that's left for me to do is fill out the form, send it out to the on-site intern adviser, and then ask my psychology undergraduate adviser if she would please become my faculty mentor, especially since she was my professor for abnormal psychology. I'm crossing my fingers here, hoping that all goes well.

As far as my writing projects go, I feel comfortable with how I've been shaping my characters and building their world from my research on body-snatching, women in medical history, and historical periods such as Elizabethan and Victorian London. I have finished rewriting and editing ten chapters, and I hope to continue with the eleventh sometime this week. I just hope that with this upcoming internship, I can still have enough time to work on my writing and fine-tune my techniques.

I also love taking inspiration from a variety of television shows. I've recently kept up with this kooky and quirky show on the Science Channel called "Oddities," which centers around the strange and hilariously outrageous encounters that the shopowners of Obscura Antiques & Oddities experience on a day-to-day basis.

In one episode, I couldn't stop laughing. Priscilla texted me on Saturday night about it, saying that she caught a marathon of it after I'd mentioned it to her. So I turned on the TV, tuned into the On-Demand Nature & Knowledge Channel, scrolled down to the Science Channel, and played the latest episode of "Oddities."

A man walks into the shop, accompanied by his assistant, who's carrying a box full of small cases. Sean Miller, an artist and the curator of JEMA (John Erikson Museum of Art), starts collecting  Obscura's -- I kid you not -- dust samples. He tells the shopowners, Mike and Evan, that he collects dust samples from art museums, photographs them, and even creates buttons and coasters for sale. Miller hopes that his sales pitch, along with a tour of his dusty (haha) art museum, will persuade Mike and Evan to buy their own dust back!

Below is a clip from "Oddities," and if you're actually interested (or think that I'm kidding) then you can also find out more information about the dust exhibit from JEMA's website: http://www.jema.us/pages/dust_pages/state.html



I was pretty surprised to see the photographs that Miller and his fellow artists took from the magnified images of the dust samples. The concept of the artworks sounds completely bizarre and incredibly weird, to the point of utter hilarity, but the photographs and images themselves are actually pretty cool to look at, almost like paintings. No two dust samples are alike! Kind of like post-modern abstract art, if you're really into that. I know I'm not so much into modern art (though I do occasionally go to the MoMA to open up my mind to new and highly-stylized artforms), but I do have an appreciate for art in general. With his unique take on viewing dust, I actually commend Miller and his colleagues on their work and their guts to show off their photography endeavors in a dusty art exhibit. (FYI: Pun totally intended.)

A detail of Art Museum Dust Montage by Connie Hwang

If you're feeling so inclined, I dare you to go google the keywords "magnified dust samples" or "microscopic dust." You'll either be fascinated or creeped out by the surprisingly colorful and intricate dust patterns. For me, it's a little bit of both, as well as freaking out over the fact that I'm actually genuinely fascinated by something as weird as this. Not that it's groundbreaking or anything, though breaking the ground will probably kick up some more interesting dust samples for the people at JEMA (haha).

I'm not sure if I'll ever visit that dust museum (it turns out they also have a location in Genoa, Italy), but I'm definitely thinking about visiting Obscura Antiques & Oddities one day. It's located in the East Village, right in New York City, so maybe I'll take a train there one day with my younger sister and just take a look around. It'll probably be more fun and interesting than walking into any of those old antique or thrift shops that we've visited in the past. Though we probably won't buy anything (we're broke as a joke college girls, after all), the experience of going there will be worth the visit. Maybe they sell some cheap crafts items that my sis and I can afford as souvenirs. 

I should also bring some of my friends, too. They'd probably love exploring the odds and ends in there, too. One day, when we're not too busy with school... maybe one day this summer. I should bring it up when I see them on Friday for our girls' day picnic at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden.

With all this talk of "oddities," my parents think that my younger sister and I are a little weird. I can't say I blame them. It's just the way we are. I like to think that our geeky tendencies and propensity towards the oddness, absurdities, and grotesqueness of life are part of what make us unique individuals. ;)

It's seeing the beauty in the ugly that truly makes life, and indeed art, worthwhile subjects to examine and experience. (I hope I don't scare people off with my weirdness, haha.)

Speaking of weird and endearing things, I've recently added Anna Nalick's new blog site called Odds & Ends to my blogroll. Not only does she have song-writing talent and amazing vocals (she's one of my favorite artists!), but she also writes narrative poems and funny stories that have a charm all their own. I recommend checking out her blog if you have the time and are up for some entertaining, quirky, lyrical and poetic material to read. I'm getting her latest album ("Broken Dolls and Odds and Ends") as soon as it comes out, same with Michelle Branch's new song and upcoming album.

Little things like Anna's songs "Paper Bag" and "Shine" get me through each day. No matter how confused I get, I just turn my iPod on and play one of these songs. Sometimes I'd listen to some Vanessa Carlton, Michelle Branch, or Sara Bareilles. These artists bare so much vulnerability and yet so much courage and optimism in their lyrics and music that their works seem to have their own essence -- their own soul. I know that this probably sounds a little flaky, but they inspire me to continue with unraveling the confusions that I come across in both my life and my writing. They truly do.

At the bottom of this post is a list of some of their songs, which I sort of made into a themed playlist. I feel like I've been living in a daze these past few days, ever since the last day of the semester. If you go through the music below, you'll probably get an idea why.

I don't want to spend another blog post dwelling on it, since its salience already weighs in my mind. Things seemed like they were going pretty well between us... He took me by complete surprise the day before the final, asking me if I'd like to get together with him and cram study. Oh, would I? Of course! We shared some laughs about the final and learned some new things about each other. Overall, I'd say things went pretty well and we left things on a good note.

Maybe I'll call him this summer. Maybe I won't. Maybe he'll be the one to call (or text, since he seems pretty shy in general). I don't know.

I'm a girl stuck in a rut because of some stupid dating rules. I could easily call him later on during the summer and ask him if he'd like to see that sci-fi movie he mentioned. But I don't know if I should, considering I'm the girl and I'm supposed to play that stupid "play-hard-to-get" game. Such needless ridiculousness. It's like watching some stupid mating dance among bird species on the Discovery Channel. Is this what romance in the twenty-first century has been reduced to?! GOSH.

Don't you just hate that twisted knot feeling in your gut, preventing you from breathing properly and thinking straight because you're left wondering about a certain someone? Why can't life just be simple? If a guy and a gal like each other so much, why can't they just be forthright with each other and hang out like old friends getting to know each other, talking about the things that they're most passionate about in life?

Oy vey, that's what I say. And I ain't even Jewish!

Oh, to hell with it. Let's just see how this thing goes, shall we? Part of not knowing is torturous, sure, but it's also half the fun. And if things turn out differently, then oh well. It could have been the start of something beautiful, but we'll never know. On to the next song in that infinite playlist! ;)

If he doesn't call, then there's no harm in asking him if he wants to hang out during the summer to see either a movie or grab some coffee or frozen yogurt (even if it's just as friends), right? I mean, if I flop on my face, then I flop on my face. If he laughs, but then he helps me up after that, then maybe we have something going on here...

There's only one way to find out. ;)

Anyway, here's that playlist I've been talking about (thanks to youtube).

• Fools Like Me -- Vanessa Carlton
• Only Fooling Myself -- Kate Voegele
• In My Head -- Anna Nalick
• Words -- Anna Nalick
• The Lullaby Singer -- Anna Nalick
• All You Wanted -- Michelle Branch
• Sooner Or Later -- Michelle Branch
• Sweet Misery -- Michelle Branch
• Breathe -- Michelle Branch
• Come Undone -- Vanessa Carlton
• Walk Away -- Anna Nalick
• Where Are You Now? -- Michelle Branch
• Breathless -- Corinne Bailey Rae
• Uncharted -- Sara Bareilles
• Let the Rain -- Sara Bareilles
• Red -- Sara Bareilles

I'll close with a quote from "Red," the last song on the playlist. It has that feel-good optimistic summer vibe that I hope inspires you, too.

"Baby girl, it may take a while, but take the good from the bad
And never minds are never sure, 
So never leave them wanting more
 What are you waiting for?
How you love is who you are

I dive in and I sink in
And I find new colors to think in..."

Um, yeah...

The dreamy guy chewing on his pen up there is Dean Winchester from the tv show Supernatural (played by Jensen Ackles).

Sorry, I couldn't resist posting it. :D Found it in someone's signature on this particular forum (be forewarned: you can get lost reading up on the posted topics for hours).

I haven't really kept up with that show since the episode where Sam and Dean found their father (I forgot which season). Life got in the way and from then on, I gave up on trying to catch up because there were too many episodes and not enough time for me to watch them all. But I still sort of wish I kept on watching.

This was just an impulsive post, so... um, yeah. ;)

More later.

Telenovelas and Rewrites

I'll be honest. I haven't really gotten that far with recapping Wuthering Heights. At this point, I'm not sure I want to continue with it because it's a lot of work. Yes, I am getting very lazy.

But I assure you, there are other reasons.

Like getting totally immersed in watching Filipino telenovelas. My mother decided to try out TFC (The Filipino Channel) from a friend who happened to be a dealer of the network. So we started watching some shows.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm hooked! So far I've finished watching "Crazy For You," and "My Cheating Heart." I actually started watching "Crazy For You" (a story about overseas Filipino workers who find love in Spain) years ago, on Youtube, but I only got 1/3 into the series because I couldn't find the other episodes online. So I was pretty bummed out about that. Now I sort of wish I didn't finish it because the ending just sucked the life out of me. After investing so much emotional energy in cheering for the lead couple and thoroughly enjoying the comically romantic moments, it ended on such a sad note (one of them died). My sister and I came up with an alternate ending, just to feel less depressed. "My Cheating Heart" (a story about a girl who does everything for her childhood best friend in the hopes of winning his heart) on the other hand, had a much better ending. The tables were turned, and there were so many plot twists that played out really nicely once you got toward the final episode.

My favorite right now, though, is a show called "Lovers In Paris" (based on a Korean drama). Usually, remakes aren't always that great, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Because it's exceptional! It's about this young woman who dreams of becoming a film director and making it big in Paris, who also falls for a rich businessman while working as his maid. I assure you, it's much more than just another Cinderella story. It's so breathtaking, the way the story is told and the complexity of each character, not to mention the awesome chemistry between the characters portrayed by KC Concepcion and Piolo Pascual (he's so dreamy!). I think they're dating in real life (so far as I've heard, hehe). They make a really cute couple. :)

[EDIT: There's a deux ex machina at the very end of the last episode, and while I'm thrilled -- hell, freaking ECSTATIC -- that there's a happy ending for the leading couple, I had to wonder if the screen writer for this telenovela just shot himself/herself in the foot and had to inhale a snuffbox of opium.]

Anyway. Enough about that. ;)

I've also been writing, working on new chapters in that novel I'm working on. So far, I've finished writing two chapters -- I'm currently working on another one while also trying to edit a horribly written chapter filled with purple prose.

What is purple prose? It's when you refer to the thesaurus so often to try to "prettify" your writing, so much so that your sentences end up looking like this:

"One smoky tendril lingered, a fragile wisp shining and reflecting the sun’s rays with a translucent sheen of its own. It relinquished its forceful embrace on my wrist, and almost reluctantly, sailed silently away from my arms. It spiraled delicately upwards, stirring the dust motes in the air, and seemed to dissipate."

I kid you not -- that up there was actually from the draft I've been working on. Horribly wordy, ain't it? I hate it, too. I'm going to have to rewrite that entire chapter, especially because it seems so strange and so out of character coming from my protagonist. She's usually blunt and speaks her mind a lot, so it doesn't make sense that she'd be narrating as if she was reciting poetry.

Besides rewriting that horrible purple prose disaster, I actually referred to the Twilight phenomenon in another chapter. The series goes by a different name (that I made up) in my story, but the idea that it's currently so ingrained in the cultural and social consciousness is still there. I used it to further the plot and to provide some sort of dramatic irony, dropping a certain hint about a certain character. But it still doesn't cross the protagonist's mind. If you're keen enough to find the hint (which I'm pretty sure you are), you'll have no problem figuring out its meaning. Not sure if I'm going to share that part of the book yet because I'm still in the middle of writing it. But if I do decide to share it, I'll keep you posted. ;)

In the meantime, enjoy this song called "Finish Line" by Fanfarlo. It's not on my story soundtrack right now, but I think I'm going to add it. The song makes me feel happy; it has that optimistic feeling to it. That's the feeling that I want to convey once I reach the end of the story. :)

"Finish Line" by Fanfarlo


Until next time, friends!

Getting Somewhere - Books with (Good) Bite and Digging Up Words

I'm almost done reading Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre! I've only ever seen a couple of movie versions of it (they weren't really that great). Reading the actual book, the actual words that Charlotte penned, is so much better than I expected. It's actually more engaging than Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, which I never even finished, having never gotten past the first three pages as a result of Emily's writing style. But to each her own, I guess. I'm reading the Norton Critical Edition of Jane Eyre, complete with literary criticisms, transcriptions of letters Charlotte wrote to her publishers, and essays on feminism.

I also downloaded a few e-books from this website called Scribd, including a series about vampires. If you haven't already guessed, I'm a sucker for these kinds of stories... Excuse the pun. Although, in my defense, I've been a fan of vampire stories since I was twelve years old, when I saw a movie version of Bram Stoker's Dracula starring Gary Oldman and Winona Ryder (which I think came out in 1992) and also some episodes of Buffy (they were random, and I'd watch them when I had the time), as well as the original film that inspired the Buffy TV series. Since then I read Dracula, and I read Amelia Atwater-Rhodes's Den of Shadows series (and a couple of her shape-shifter stories), some stand-alone chick-lit novels featuring the bloodsuckers, and of course (which is probably in every pre-teen's literary canon -- I say this in the sense that these tweens will treat Meyer's stories as if they were Gospel truth. Shocked? Me, too.) the Twilight Saga. So enough explanation.

I like vampires. Even though I was completely terrified of them in the 1st grade after watching Nosferatu and those documentaries on the paranormal. I was so scared that I actually slept with my covers over my head, thinking that my blanky was a nifty shield against any bat that might crawl through my window looking to suck the life out of my neck.

Yeah, I know. I had a vivid imagination as a kid. Didn't you?

Anyway, if you're just looking for something entertaining, funny, and refreshing to read, I suggest you check out the Blood Coven series by Mari Mancusi.

Book 1: Boys That Bite

Book 2: Stake That

Book 3: Girls That Growl

Book 4: Bad Blood

I'm planning on reading them next, once I finish Jane Eyre and the last installment of L.J. Smith's Vampire Diaries. If you're interested in reading the Blood Coven series, just let me know. I can send you the ebooks.

I'm also planning to read the books by Charlaine Harris on which the HBO TV series True Blood is based. I'm still waiting for season 3 to start.

Ditto with The Vampire Diaries. I'm almost done with the last book. The only thing I'll be looking foward to in the fall would be season 2 -- it's getting really juicy, what with Damon suddenly trying to be good in order to impress Elena (who's already taken by Stefan and only sees Damon as a friend) and Katharine (YES, Elena's doppleganger) comes back to Mystic Falls!

While I have these two shows/book series in mind, I have to share my current TV infatuations (aside from Ethan Peck, who doesn't play a vampire, hehe). And the gorgeous guys are...

Alexander Skarsgard -- aka "Eric" on True Blood

Ian Somerhalder -- aka "Damon" on The Vampire Diaries

Vampires must really dig leather, the way Victorians had a fetish for lace, don't you think? "You can be my leather. Take from me my lace..." Hahaha!

They can bite my neck anytime! At least, the fictional characters that they portray on television can. I heard they have girlfriends in real life (go figure), so if I got anyone's hopes up... Sorry. Now that that's out of the way, permit me to throw a bucket of ice water over my head. Ahem.

I'm back. That was refreshing. Okay, I didn't literally do that. But I did wash my face and drink some water, which did the trick. So, where was I? Oh, yes. I just finished my vampire-obsession spiel, hehe.

As for my own writing...
For the past couple of weeks, let me put it in terms of Lolcats:

However, I also had some progress. After ignoring the story I've been working on for quite some time, I finally listened to the nagging voice in the back of my brain that kept telling me something was off. I just didn't know what it was at the time. But now I do.

The timing -- the pacing of the story was going too fast, with not enough conflicts in each chapter, and not enough appearances of a major character. Plus, I had some major editing to do with chapters that I felt didn't flow that well to fit in with the rest of the plot points. I've also had to do some character study -- that is to say, I had to imagine the world through the other characters' perspectives in order to understand their motivations behind their actions. They seemed kind of... hollow until I focused on them somewhat more, creating their backstories (even if I wasn't really going to use most of it). And so, with all of this bouncing back and forth, and some Facebooking in between (Sorority Life is ridiculous, but so addictive!), I tried my best. I even stopped searching for good music for a while because that tends to greatly distract me from ever getting anywhere.

Though I did find some more interesting songs -- some of them recommended by a couple of friends and others discovered on Purevolume or on one of the online AOL indie rock stations -- I eventually decided that I'd probably be better off writing in silence for a bit.

So far?

The silence (save for the whirring of the electric fan amid the summer heat) helped me regain focus a little. I was able to write a few more pages. Granted, there's always editing to do, but at least for the time being, I got somewhere. I also figured out how to add more scenes in between to make the plot richer with more conflict and more ways to torture my protagonist (not that I hate her or anything... but whining is a big thing with her, so if you plan to read any excerpts I decide to put up in the future, be forewarned, hehe).

In any case, I'm off to write again. And then explore the new literature blogs I found after I run out of steam, like this one that gives book reviews (sorry, they talk about vampires again -- but they talk about other things in their posts, too! I swear!): Litbites.

Until next time, friends!

A Million Things Since February...

It's been a really long while since my last post. I've been very busy with school -- apparently March happens to be midterm month. I was writing out pages and pages of endless pages of review sheets for each test, as well as reading up on materials for class. It takes a toll on you after a while, and you find that you're missing hours of sleep and can't write anything because you're so tired and eventually find yourself drooling near your laptop's keyboard. But there has been some progress and high points.

This past weekend, I had the honor of becoming a Grand Representative to Georgia and Oregon in my youth group, the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls. I'm so proud of my friend Samantha, who's the new Grand Worthy Advisor of NY. Her mascot is that curious little monkey, Curious George, who's holding a bunch of balloons. "Reach for New Heights" is her theme and her motto, and it's a big challenge this year to step up to the task.

We have new charity and service projects, and many things to be thankful for. One of the surprises I wasn't expecting was that my assembly, W. Mark Sexson #15, actually won the Membership Award and was named "Assembly of the Year"!!!! We brought in five girls since we first started, and we've also helped to initiate two other girls from another assembly. (I have a LOT to memorize, as we're having another initiation of new members into our organization in May.)

It was pretty funny that some high school kids who were there at the same resort for their senior trip thought that we were all taking part in a wedding or a beauty pageant, since we were wearing our white gowns. And I'll never forget when Hannah was awestruck by one of them, a guy with long locks whom she admired from afar and affectionately called "Blondie." He splashed me when he did a cannonball into the pool as I was drying myself. When I told Hannah this, she was just all the more excited, ahahaha. And Jasmine... I can't believe she actually went up to one of the guys and said, "Hey, I think you're cute." To which the boy answered, "Hey, if you wanna chill, I'll be on this floor so come holla at me." LOL. And then she just walked away, thinking, "Uh... NO." And then there was the "Oooga Boooga" ceremony after the banquet-dance... every advisor and Rainbow girl who visits Grand Assembly for the first time must go through it. It wasn't that bad... aside from the fact that I wet my pants, ahhahaha. But anyway...

I'm so glad to have made new friends at Grand Assembly, especially Dawn and Gabby, and to have the opportunity to do my part as a Rainbow girl. I just hope that I can set a good example for other girls, and get them to join in the fun and rewarding experience of helping others be all that they can be. So, here's to hoping. ;)

Grand Assembly wasn't the only highlight in the past three weeks. I went to the MoMA twice this month and saw the Tim Burton exhibit with some friends from high school - Priscilla, Liliana, Amy, and Renee. It was like walking into another dimension, or some kind of time warp as we set foot inside the giant mouth...

It's so amazing and pleasantly kooky to get to know the inner workings of Burton's creativity. For a preview of the exhibition, you can go here and explore the site: http://www.moma.org/interactives/exhibitions/2009/timburton/

Also, here's a checklist for all the different odds and ends at Tim Burton's art exhibit at the MoMA... I guarantee you'll find something terribly intriguing: http://moma.org/interactives/exhibitions/2009/timburton/includes/pdf/checklist.pdf

It was great to reconnect with my old friends. I just wish I had more time with them. And I wish that I could see other people from my high school - Tegan, Arielle, Katie, and Agatha, to name a few. They're some of my closest friends (and in case any of you guys are reading this, I miss you!), and I love our crazy-yet-sane-talks about life and music and books and movies and tv shows and vibrant creativity and.... and... there's too many. I hope that I can see them again sometime soon.

I also reconnected with my teachers and some of my classmates from St. Aloysius, my elementary/junior high school. We've all grown and we've all changed. It was all Kim's idea. I almost didn't go because of the crappy weather that day, but I'm glad that I did. We met up with four of our favorite teachers, and they will always hold a special place in our hearts. We just sat and ate pizza at California Pizza Kitchen in Atlas Park, talking about our favorite memories and about where we were now, and what we hope to do in the future. It was nice, and it was a wonderful time getting to know everyone again. We're hoping that for our 10-year reunion (2010), we could all go to Vegas. I don't know if that'll actually happen, but at this point, who knows? ;)

There's a song called "Let It Go" by Debra Arlyn, and it's such an inspiring piece of music. It gives me hope when I'm feeling confused, frustrated, or insecure. It calms me down. Because the most important task is to focus on the postivity, the things that you've already got, the family and friends who are there to support you no matter what, and the aspirations you hope to achieve in the future. Just take a deep breath and take things day by day, one small step at a time.

"The change in the weather is affecting me deeper this year
It's another reminder that the time is passing by
Am I doing the right things, pursuing the right dreams?
I'll go for a drive
As I take in the scenery, look up at changing leaves
It's then I decide

To let it go
Out the window
Just let it flow
Out of my mind
'Cause I'll never know exactly what's in store
So the best thing for sure
Let it go"

Wanna know another exciting thing that's happened to me? :)

I got to chat with one of my favorite actors, Ethan Peck!

Ethan currently plays Patrick Verona on ABC Family's tv show remake of "10 Things I Hate About You."

You may have seen him in one of my earlier posts, you know - the ones where I've pretty much exalted his hotness factor and thought that he would be absolutely PERFECT to play one of the characters in my novel, should it ever be turned into a major motion picture (I wish, you have no idea how much).

It was a good thing I found out about the live chat on Facebook about an hour before it started, otherwise I would have really missed out!

My burning question was this: "What first drew you to play Patrick? Do you feel that you share anything in common with your character?"

To which he answered (and I love, love, LOVE his answer!), "Patrick drew me because he's such a loner, something I've been for most of my life, and he's searching, deeply searching, for love and meaning, like many of us, but he's very angry too, something I don't have in common with him."

Someone else asked him what his dream role would be...
Ethan Peck: "Right now? Anything good! I like truthful stories that teach good lessons, with depth and soulful complexity."

Another person asked him if there's anything he doesn't like about his character, Patrick Verona...
Ethan Peck: "Lots of things! He's such a jerk! And mean sometimes, too. If I knew him I'd make him tell me about his childhood--it seems most of his problems stem from trust issues that I imagine began with his upbringing. And he's pretty cocky, not an attractive quality, in my opinion."

HA! I kind of drew inspiration for writing Seth's character from Patrick, both from the movie and the tv series. I wanted Seth (one of the main characters in my novel) to be a bit of an a-hole... but a likeable one, hehe. One who has a past and anger issues, but one who can also rise to become the well-loved and redeeming hero of the story, who can bring out the worst and hopefully, the best, in the heroine.

Ethan's such a deep thinker, so thoughtful and introspective, and so focused on his career and honing his skills as an actor. Pretty intriguing guy. ;)

I would absolutely watch any other productions Ethan's part of in the future. So far besides "10 Things I Hate About You," I've seen him in the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie "Passport to Paris." Though, that probably doesn't count because I was like, 12 years old when I saw it. But I will definitely watch his other movies, mostly independent films, which I hear were really good and won some awards.

You can read the entire live chat with Ethan Peck online; just click here.

Well... that's it for now. I realize that this post may be a bit too long, and I apologize if you're having difficulty straining your eyes from staring at the monitor screen for so long. I'll try to update a tad more often, and to write more often. One step at a time, folks, just one step at a time. ;)

How to get distracted...

I got distracted from writing my story because I've been clicking through Meg Cabot's website (http://www.megcabot.com/). She had some fun quizzes posted up, based on her novels and characters. I took two of them. Turns out that I'm more like Jessica from the 1-800-Where-R-You series, and the hero that's the perfect match for me is Jesse de Silva from The Mediator series. The names, I know, are similar (haha). But you should definitely check out her blog - they're hilarious and insightful. And if you hover over "About Meg" and click on "A Day in the Life," I guarantee that you'll be laughing your wits out of your brain when you see just how she gets through writing a complete manuscript. Or, if you're a bit lazy like me (hehe), click here to see: http://www.megcabot.com/day_in_the_life.php

I also get distracted at the mention/thought of Ethan Peck. He's currently playing Patrick Verona in the new ABC Family series "10 Things I Hate About You," which is loosely (very loosely) based on the movie, which was based on the Shakespearean play "The Taming of the Shrew." I know it's not exactly the same, but the tension is still there. Although, I think Kat (played by Lindsay Shaw) should have a bit more of an edge to her. Same with Patrick - Ethan's Patrick is too much of a brooding loner with a staring problem, which is different from Heath's portrayal in the movie. Heath's Patrick had a wilder, more carefree streak about him. But anyway, the show's still funny. I just hate watching it with my dad around, because then I can't go as crazy as I want to whenever Ethan Peck shows up on the screen. Here's why:

Ethan looks so different now from when he played a young Michael Kelso in "That 70's Show." Then again, it's been years. But he was still just as lovely then as he is now. As lovely as the lead male character in the story I'm writing. If a producer/director ever decides to turn my novel into a movie/tv show, I'd want Ethan Peck to play him. Just saying. ;)

I also got distracted due to my new-found addiction to watching the TLC show "What Not to Wear." Free fashion tips for every body shape and lifestyle! All thanks to stylists Stacy London (she has fabulous hair!) and Clinton Kelly (who is really good-looking, but unfortunately is gay). I absolutely LOVE their ideas!

Plus, Carmindy makes putting on make-up look really natural and easy! I know it's not exactly rocket science, but I've been struggling with getting the right shades and the right thickness for eye shadow and eyeliner. I tried using some of her tricks - like using a really light color to brighten up the eye just under the brows and along the tear ducts, and then sweeping a lovely shade right over the eyelid. Although it was kind of weird, having Asian eyes and everything. I mean, where the heck are my eyelids?! But I managed to pull it off nonetheless.

And I hacked off my long hair. It's short - just up to my shoulders. I had Judith, my younger sister cut it for me. My parents were like, "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

But it doesn't actually look bad. My mother just has the compulsion to criticize a lot, and my dad is still stuck in the mindstate that long hair is equivalent to femininity. Whatever.

Next Friday, exactly 1 week from now, I'm supposed to start my sophomore year of college. What I wouldn't give for another month of vacation! How the heck am I supposed to finish my novel if I'm bombarded with long, dry textbook readings and pain-in-the-neck essays, and on top of all that, planning and hosting weekend activities for my service-based youth group???

A bunch of my friends, especially Joanna, are already excited at the prospect of reading the story, but I'm nowhere near finished. It seems that even if I have everything planned out in my head, the writing's going to take longer than I thought.

Ah, the wonders of life.

On a lighter note...

Here are two completely random phrases that keep making Priscilla and me laugh:

1. Turbo's nuts
2. Chafing nipples

Yes, I am aware that we are a couple of chuckle-heads who have a bad case of the giggle gas. But honestly, they are the most hilarious things that we have ever come across so far. I love inside jokes. :)

Let me try to break it down for you, if you deem us insane:

1. Turbo's nuts

• After reading one of his old blog posts, Priscilla and I could not get over the fact that Jason Mraz wrote about his cat's scrotum sacs and the surgical procedure that was to remove them. Although we kind of sympathized for the poor thing, we couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Jason, was it really necessary for you to include a picture of your feline's furballs (so to speak)?

2. Chafing nipples

• There was an episode of The Office called "Fun Run." Micheal Scott, the bumbling boss of Dunder Mifflin Paper Co., hit one of his coworkers with his car. He thought that rabies was the culprit to her present condition, in addition to his carelessness. To atone for his mistake, Micheal felt that he and the employees should sponsor and run a race - a race to cure rabies. Apparently, he didn't get the memo that the solution to rabies has already been found long before. Anyway, one of the employees named Andy feared the chafing of his nipples while running. So, he wrapped tape around himself to prevent it. However, later on during the race, as he was running as fast as his feet could sweep him away, two spots of red appeared on his shirt. Alas, poor Andy had no idea that his nipples were indeed chafing. The sheer stupidity of it incites the giggle gas to rise up in both of us.

It got to the point where Pris and I would laugh out of nowhere during our Psych class and even on the 6 train. We may have looked like a couple of weirdoes, but honestly, we blended in with the rest of the kooks on the subway. After all, this is New York City. That's the beauty of it. Embrace it. Breathe it. Live it.

Crazy is just another level of genius that no one else can understand.

"Everyday"; Thoughts on Television & Literature

This song came up on my mp3 player on my way to school this morning. It's called "Everyday" by Toby Lightman, and it got me thinking about relationships with others, whether they're family, friends, classmates, coworkers, etc. I love the message it conveys: All that matters is staying true through and through to yourself. The words are comforting, and they help keep me going whenever I find myself in a bind.

>>Here's the excerpt from the lyrics of "Everyday" by Toby Lightman --

"Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say
And what I should keep to myself
And the words that manage to leave my lips
Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else

And I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me

[Chorus:]
But I'll see better when the smoke clears
When the smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said
And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens everyday"


On a separate note, I'm pretty stoked about the new shows on t.v. premiering this fall. Last week, I just saw a 2-hour special of one of my favorite shows, "Bones." It's so fascinating how in order to solve a case, all of the characters - whether they're a cop, FBI agent, psychologist, or forensic scientist - have to put their heads together and find all the missing pieces.

I hardly ever watched t.v. last year, but shows like "90210" and "Privileged" on the CW seem promising, as well as "Samurai Girl" on ABC Family. Speaking of which, the show "Samurai Girl" compelled me to finally read the book series by Carrie Asai. I heard the novels are really hard to put down and draw readers immediatey into the story. Hopefully the show holds up to this standard and stays true to the books. I'll be reading and comparing the literature to the t.v. show (yet another one of my nerdy habits, hehe).

It annoys me when a novel or series gets turned into a movie, and the film pales in comparison to the literary glories of the original book or series. With this in mind, I hope the upcoming movie "Twilight" (coming out on December 12th!) lives up to the first of Stephenie Meyer's novels.