It's just a matter of time.

"Hey, hey, don’t pay no mind
We are the second, you’re minutes behind
So you say, 'Yeah I’m alright'
You are the fortunate all the time"

Time is a funny thing: it is infinite, yet we always seem to run out of it.

It would be more accurate to say that we are finite, that we are beings caged by our own mortality, not time. Time exists in and of itself. It knows no boundaries. Only the capacity to allow some distance for solace and healing. That is, if you allow yourself that after feeling weak and wounded from the traumas and dramas of life.

Is time really just one big NOW? We may never know. All we need to do is simply breathe.

Now, after another year gone by, feeling a bit older and wiser, I couldn't help but think, we're all wasted. I couldn't agree more with Cartel, a band that has written these three insightful songs: "Wasted," "The Fortunate," and "Matter of Time." You should give them a listen.

With each new year comes a new purpose. Or so we tell ourselves. Resolutions are meaningless without resolve. Yet, how often do we break those promises to ourselves? We get so disheartened and so disappointed when someone else breaks a promise to us. We get so caught up in feeling so self-righteous and self-pitying that we hesitate to forgive that person. We accuse them of lying. We accuse them of betrayal.

Well, would you feel the same way about yourself if you broke your own promise to yourself?

We are all hypocrites to some degree. And damn us all. We're all wasted if we don't start changing our ways. Don't make promises you can't even attempt to keep. Time and again, it's been said throughout the ages: be true to thyself. The world is what you make it to be. This is your life.

So who do you want to be?

"Cause all you can't deny is held inside
And when we go,
We say goodbye and then we run,
We run away.

From all we can't deny is just a lie.
And when we try to just get by
We just can't get past ourselves.

Cause where you are is where you'll be: always wanting everything.
It's all the same, that you can't ignore
Cause all you want is just to be more.

Cause who you are is who you'll be, and that is really everything.
It's all the same that you can relate.
Cause what you want's not what you're getting.
It's just a matter of time...
It's just a matter of time, 'til you know you'll be somebody tonight."

That's what I'm going to do. I resolve to be true to myself.


On a lighter note, I've been getting crazy random dreams about House and Bones. I guess that's what comes of watching too much television. There where all-day marathons of these shows recently, and that's all I've been doing. I think it's safe to say that I'm obsessed... to the point where I dream that the shows are fused together as one and I'm starring in it. For cryin' out loud, I dreamed that I was engaged to Chase/Jesse Spencer. Not that I'm complaining. It was a nice dream. But still, simply a dream thanks to my compulsive need to get my daily dose of tv.

Time, you really are a riot. Until I get back to work on the 26th, I don't know what to do with you.