The Woes of a Brace-faced Book Licker (and no, it's not as weird as it sounds)

So here's to 2010. My first post of the new year.

It's so cold and windy outside - currently 21 degrees Farenheit, but it feels like it's 3. My legs were shaking so badly when I stepped outside with my family to go to church yesterday morning. Like Jack Frost sneezed all over your face, inducing your caplillaries to experience vasoconstriction just so your body can preserve and retain whatever heat it still has in its core.

My braces are still are as annoying as ever. I still have to wear a rubber band around that area in my mouth were a stubborn, impacted lateral incisor is reluctantly being pulled away from its secure hiding place in my gums. I'm turning 20 next month, and despite my womanly figure (well, okay... average female attributes), I still look like a gawky 15-year-old thanks to my orthodontic contraptions. And that's not even the most embarrassing part of it...

I remember this happening from a few months ago... My wacky orthodontist, who also happens to be the director of this orthodontics office

(Perhaps you've seen their ads on the subway?), actually told me point-blank, "I wonder what must be going on through your boyfriend's brain while you guys are kissing each other."
"Uh, I don't have--"
"Probably not a pretty picture," he said, cutting me off mid-sentence. "But don't worry, we'll get that tooth down in no time. Just keep wearing your rubber bands, and you'll be okay."

Um... Thanks??

Except that I didn't have a boyfriend at the time. I still don't. Is it because of this metal cage guarding my mouth? Is that what he's implying? Arghh... I don't know, but it was just a really weird thing to say to a patient who's hoping to fix her broken smile. It reminds me of that Maroon 5 song... "Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while..." Will she EVER be loved?

So much for self-esteem. My next appointment is scheduled for next week. Great.

And another thing -- Is there such a thing as generic beauty?
Answer: YES.

For instance...
What do these two women have in common?

Adriana Lima

Megan Fox

Impeccable bone structure and a body that could probably squeeze easily into a size 2, not to mention their sultry pouting and a pair of mammary glands that have the power to effortlessly bring a guy to his knees.

Meanwhile, I feel like I should be wearing a burlap potato sack or a paper bag over my head. Though, I try to stay hopeful. Songs like Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" and Anna Nalick's "Paper Bag" give me a sense of optimism. So nice girls finish last... "But someday we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful. Meanwhile I hide my head here in this paper bag, 'cause if I can't see you then you can't see me. And it'll be okay, so fly little bee away to where there's no more rain and I can be me."

But GRRRR.... How is it that Megan Fox already beat me to it??

I can't even start this new trend because the beautiful people keep hogging all the attention! :P

So this only corroborates what I've already said before... Nice girls finish last.

I hardly get a double-take from stunning guys. Nope. Instead, I attract the guys that I least want to date, the ones who like to think they know everything about everything or the ones who just plain out give you the creeps. I'm just a geek magnet, like KJ, the protagonist in this awesome YA novel by Kieran Scott:

Why can't I meet a hot geek? Oh wait... that's right... because they're so busy chasing after girls that look like Megan Fox or Adriana Lima.

You may be wondering why I bother, or why I'm even dedicating a blog post to such a stupid and inane topic such as this one, especially when the societal standards of beauty are so ingrained in our subconscious as common sense. But here is why it's been grating on my mind lately:

I know this vid's kind of old -- it was posted back in March 2009, when the Transformers sequel was just coming out in theaters. And OKAY, so it's pretty much a cliche that guys like Gallo want girls like Megan Fox and Adriana Lima (who he's mentioned in another interview). It just figures that he would want to date hot supermodels and actresses. Beautiful people inbreed -- not literally, of course, but that is to say that they only date people who are also beautiful, or as he puts it, "More than gorgeous." Talk about a shitload of superlatives.

And was that just his cute accent with the broken English (no offense, Gallo) or was that actual hubris when he said,"Everytime, everytime" while trying to ask Megan Fox out on camera?
(I'd like to think it was the former.)

Then, as I was watching the game against the Pacers last night, I couldn't stay completely angry for long...
How can I stay mad at a guy who does this?:


Did you catch that? After that AH-MAZING dunk, he landed on his feet like some sort of cool, California surfer, like he just Kowabunga'ed the basket and landed gracefully on his feet:

Gallo doesn't surf (at least, not to my knowledge). But that was still a wicked pose, as in the picture above. Metaphorically, you could say he was riding against the tidal wave force of the opposing team and conquered their elements.

Okay, that sounded corny. But still. What he did -- that dunk -- that was awesome.

To add the cherry on top, the Knicks actually won an astounding 132-89 victory against the Pacers! There is hope that they can make it to the playoffs! ;)

Anyway, I should really get back to my story-storming. Instead of going full steam ahead, I usually end up book licking. That's what Meg Cabot calls it, when she mentioned it on her blog: "In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, a book licker is someone who’s writing a novel, but instead of just finishing it and surrendering it to her editor, she keeps going back and re-reading it over and over, finding tiny things wrong with it, and revising it. She never actually gets to The End."


I don't have an editor. Yet. But the principle's still the same. That's all I ever do whenever I have writer's block. I go back and I edit. And I edit. And I edit. And I revise. Instead of actually WRITING anything that's going to propel the plot forward.

So this is a brace-faced girl who's a book licker no more... At least, one who will try to keep it to a minimum.

Having said all I've needed to say so far --- I will leave you, my readers (whoever you are) and invisible readers (because the odds are that no one actually reads the crap that I post) with this wonderful quote from Jason Mraz's song, "The Beauty In Ugly", as featured in the show Ugly Betty. Maybe it'll put a pep in your step, just as I hope it does with mine.

"Well, you are fresh, your face is fabulous,
Don't forget you're one of a kind
When nobody is checking the deeds you've done
And nobody is hearing your cries
You make all the fashion statements
Just by dressing up your mind

Well, if you wanna get free,
And if you wanna do the passionate thing,
And if you wanna get smart for the sake of your heart,
You should own your name and stand up tall
And get real
And see the beauty in ugly
And see the beauty in ugly..."